A while ago I was president of a social club I belong to, and had a monthly column I wrote for our newsletter. In January I put something together about New Year’s resolutions, and I commented on how strange it was that we have this custom of making commitments to ourselves every year at this one time. I mean, January 1 is really nothing more than an arbitrary day in the earth’s annual trip around the sun; why not any other day? I don’t really have an answer and I’m not sure it’s an important enough question to merit much thought, but an underlying point is “Why not do that all the time?” Any time is as good as any other to try to be a better person, right? So why not make it a regular habit? I do think that having some kind of regular prompt to conduct my personal Good Life Inventory makes sense, kind of like how we’ve trained ourselves to change the batteries in smoke detectors every time we set the clock back or forward for daylight savings time. So for me, I think a quarterly reminder might be helpful, so I’m thinking of the two equinoxes and two solstices might be useful. We’ll see how that works. Gotta start someplace!
With that thought (and within the context of “The Good Life,”), I’m going to start off with a List. Like anyone, there’s some things I’d like to do better. (Aside: lest I let this degenerate into some kind of self-recriminatory rant, let me say that in all honesty, I think I’m an OK person right now. I don’t steal, lie, etc. etc. etc., at least not consciously nor routinely…but the fact I have to add those modifiers at the end there tells its own story, I guess.)
Anyhow.
I’ll add to my list in future posts, but the first thing that pops up is that I yell at people when I’m driving. There’s a Disney cartoon from the 50’s showing Goofy transforming from a mild-mannered guy (dog?) in a suit to crazed animal
when he gets behind the wheel of his car. My close friend Tim Katke says that’s me; clearly he’s wrong because Goofy doesn’t have a beard. Anyhow, I know it’s silly, and whatever irritation I actually have passes almost immediately. Plus, the windows are up (in both cars, usually) so no one hears me.
But it’s not just the yelling I’m going to try to stop, it’s the almost knee-jerk irritation at what other people are doing. If they’re not going fast enough (and they’re in front of me), if they’re riding my bumper, if they cut me off or sit too long when the light turns…you get the drill. They’re just driving; most of the time oblivious to me. And the thing is, I know I do the same things. Obliviously for the most part, but still.
As I think about this, it’s not the yelling at people that I don’t like; not doing that one thing isn’t likely to contribute much toward making me a better person; it by itself certainly won’t improve society (as I said, most people aren’t aware of it anyway). It’s more the statement of what type of person gets angry over trivial things, and who do I want to be instead.
Procedurally, I think this will be a two-part process for me. First, learning to stop and make a conscious decision to change my driving habits. I want to be wherever I’m going, and sometimes I don’t give myself enough time as a buffer in case there’s traffic delays. So leaving a few minutes earlier is one thing, which entails better planning. Secondly, becoming more courteous. Driving is not a competition, so letting the other car in front of me, moving out of the way of the guy behind me, not taking other people’s lack of attention, poor planning or even simple rudeness as a personal affront will go a long way too.
So that’s the first thing I want to change about me. There’s lots more, but I am going to start with that one thing.
