So what exactly does it mean, to “examine one’s life”? As I’ve mentioned in these posts, what brought this to my attention so forcefully was the death of my friend Mike Katke a little over two weeks ago. There were over 200 people who attended his funeral/memorial service, each with their own story of what Mike did for them, what he meant to them or how they will remember him. The family gave me the very difficult but signal honor of officiating at the ceremony where four of us who knew and worked with Mike spoke of him.
A personal mission statement is a way of organizing your thoughts about who you are and what you would like to be. When I led the team that did the training for our new reps, one of the presentations we always gave during the first week of training was our mission statement workshop and exercise. Ryan Perry still does this; he did an excellent job when we worked together partly because of his commitment and passion for what we do. In any case, Ryan and I were talking about this in the context of Mike’s life (Ryan was a long-time friend of Mike’s as well). Obviously a mission statement is a way to examine one’s life, as its development begins with an introspective evaluation of who you want to be. We ask our reps to picture themselves at 90 looking back on their life, and think about what that life would represent. Not how many awards they got or how much money they made, but what they meant to others during that life; what those people would have to say about them. Then, write down those key points; they represent who you would like to be. Turning those points into the present tense, writing them down and reviewing them on a regular (daily) basis then activates a subconscious process (according to the view of some behavioral psychologists) that drives behavior to create the reality to match the mission statement.
Anyhow, all that is well and good but I don’t think it’s granular enough. We all want to be perceived as honest, loyal, with high integrity blah blah blah. But examining one’s life (to me, at least) carries a much more introspective tone. What, exactly, is important to me?
One aspect of this examination is the willingness to go wherever it leads you. This may sound either trite or “New-Agey,” but what I mean by it is this: If you carefully examine your facts, thoughts, observations, etc. etc. etc., what if the conclusion that results from that introspection means you have to change how you act? Let me construct an example. Cathy’s mom and her husband George have difficulty getting around (for lots of reasons), and have applied for and been granted handicapped tags for their car. It makes total sense for them to have them. The purpose of the tags being granted is so people can park in handicapped spaces and not have to struggle to get to where they want to go. Now, let’s say we are all going to dinner, and they ask me to drive. It’s easier to use their car than to have them climb into mine, so I drive George’s car with its associated handicapped tag. It is totally legal for me to park in a handicapped space. But I (the driver) am not handicapped. Shouldn’t I pull up to the front door, let Marcie and George out (which allows them to get even closer to the appropriate entrance than a handicapped parking spot would be), and then drive to wherever I find a parking spot? It seems to me that the purpose of the tags is to help people who actually need to park close to the entrance, to reduce their struggle. That does not include me, in this instance. Now, I know this is a silly example, but it does go to the process. Am I (or do I want to be) the type of person who thinks through the underlying reason for something, and adheres to the spirit of the situation, or am I a “legalist” who says “I have a handicapped tag, so by heaven I get to park in a handicapped space”?
There are lots of different situations where this could be applied, but the underlying premise is that an introspective nature is central to the process. If I want to be a particular person, then a fairly deep introspection is essential to sort out what that looks like. A second characteristic is honesty, particularly with oneself. If your introspection leads to a specific conclusion (one that includes a behavioral component), honesty would then compel you to act on that conclusion, and not try to rationalize it away.
For example, Mike developed Metagenics First Line Therapy, which is a form of lifestyle medicine. What that means is that the FLT program teaches people how to select foods that are more appropriate to maintaining health. Without going into specifics, it’s based on a low fat, modified Mediterranean-style diet. Mike lived that program. It meant changing the way he selected his food, prepared it, and consumed it. So let’s make this personal. Do I exemplify the diet that I tell our sales people (and doctors around the country when I lecture)? Or do I rationalize that dessert or soda that I want, even when I know they’re not good for me?
This applies in lots of areas: philosophical, physical, dietary, mental, and so forth. And it also goes to things like integrity, honesty and commitment.
Something to think about. And it may not be a very comfortable process, but I think it’s important to see where it goes.
About BigBill
Stats: Married male boomer.
Hobbies: Hiking, woodworking, reading, philosophy, good conversation.
An examined life (Part 2)
So what exactly does it mean, to “examine one’s life”? As I’ve mentioned in these posts, what brought this to my attention so forcefully was the death of my friend Mike Katke a little over two weeks ago. There were over 200 people who attended his funeral/memorial service, each with their own story of what Mike did for them, what he meant to them or how they will remember him. The family gave me the very difficult but signal honor of officiating at the ceremony where four of us who knew and worked with Mike spoke of him.
A personal mission statement is a way of organizing your thoughts about who you are and what you would like to be. When I led the team that did the training for our new reps, one of the presentations we always gave during the first week of training was our mission statement workshop and exercise. Ryan Perry still does this; he did an excellent job when we worked together partly because of his commitment and passion for what we do. In any case, Ryan and I were talking about this in the context of Mike’s life (Ryan was a long-time friend of Mike’s as well). Obviously a mission statement is a way to examine one’s life, as its development begins with an introspective evaluation of who you want to be. We ask our reps to picture themselves at 90 looking back on their life, and think about what that life would represent. Not how many awards they got or how much money they made, but what they meant to others during that life; what those people would have to say about them. Then, write down those key points; they represent who you would like to be. Turning those points into the present tense, writing them down and reviewing them on a regular (daily) basis then activates a subconscious process (according to the view of some behavioral psychologists) that drives behavior to create the reality to match the mission statement.
Anyhow, all that is well and good but I don’t think it’s granular enough. We all want to be perceived as honest, loyal, with high integrity blah blah blah. But examining one’s life (to me, at least) carries a much more introspective tone. What, exactly, is important to me?
One aspect of this examination is the willingness to go wherever it leads you. This may sound either trite or “New-Agey,” but what I mean by it is this: If you carefully examine your facts, thoughts, observations, etc. etc. etc., what if the conclusion that results from that introspection means you have to change how you act? Let me construct an example. Cathy’s mom and her husband George have difficulty getting around (for lots of reasons), and have applied for and been granted handicapped tags for their car. It makes total sense for them to have them. The purpose of the tags being granted is so people can park in handicapped spaces and not have to struggle to get to where they want to go. Now, let’s say we are all going to dinner, and they ask me to drive. It’s easier to use their car than to have them climb into mine, so I drive George’s car with its associated handicapped tag. It is totally legal for me to park in a handicapped space. But I (the driver) am not handicapped. Shouldn’t I pull up to the front door, let Marcie and George out (which allows them to get even closer to the appropriate entrance than a handicapped parking spot would be), and then drive to wherever I find a parking spot? It seems to me that the purpose of the tags is to help people who actually need to park close to the entrance, to reduce their struggle. That does not include me, in this instance. Now, I know this is a silly example, but it does go to the process. Am I (or do I want to be) the type of person who thinks through the underlying reason for something, and adheres to the spirit of the situation, or am I a “legalist” who says “I have a handicapped tag, so by heaven I get to park in a handicapped space”?
There are lots of different situations where this could be applied, but the underlying premise is that an introspective nature is central to the process. If I want to be a particular person, then a fairly deep introspection is essential to sort out what that looks like. A second characteristic is honesty, particularly with oneself. If your introspection leads to a specific conclusion (one that includes a behavioral component), honesty would then compel you to act on that conclusion, and not try to rationalize it away.
For example, Mike developed Metagenics First Line Therapy, which is a form of lifestyle medicine. What that means is that the FLT program teaches people how to select foods that are more appropriate to maintaining health. Without going into specifics, it’s based on a low fat, modified Mediterranean-style diet. Mike lived that program. It meant changing the way he selected his food, prepared it, and consumed it. So let’s make this personal. Do I exemplify the diet that I tell our sales people (and doctors around the country when I lecture)? Or do I rationalize that dessert or soda that I want, even when I know they’re not good for me?
This applies in lots of areas: philosophical, physical, dietary, mental, and so forth. And it also goes to things like integrity, honesty and commitment.
Something to think about. And it may not be a very comfortable process, but I think it’s important to see where it goes.
About BigBill
Stats: Married male boomer. Hobbies: Hiking, woodworking, reading, philosophy, good conversation.