In my last post (on the suicides of Kate Spade, Craig Turner and Anthony Bourdain) I wrote of how tragic it is when someone feels that their life is no longer worth living, or that the world would be a better place without them. Others have called suicide the ultimate selfish act, but I don’t agree; I don’t think it’s self-centeredness that leads someone to that decision. I don’t pretend to know all the variables that do, but I don’t think it’s fair to call it selfishness.
In fact, I can think of situations where the exact opposite emotion drives someone to take their own life. Or at least contributes to it. The whole Death with Dignity movement is predicated upon the decision to end one’s own life on one’s own terms and at a time of one’s own choosing, partly to eliminate strain on a family’s finances or to avoid having a loved one have to care for them on a painful (both physically and emotionally) and inexorable one-way journey.
I confess I have very mixed feelings about this topic.
On one hand, it’s heartbreaking when people decide to leave friends and family (thus depriving them of their company) when faced with their inevitable demise from an illness or infirmity. On the other hand, I can think of few worse fates than knowing that I am going to die after a protracted illness (especially one as frightening as ALS or Alzheimer’s) that would gradually but inevitably incapacitate me, while simultaneously draining whatever financial resources I have. I can unequivocally state that I would want the right to end my life if I find myself in that scenario. And it would probably be necessary to do so fairly early in the disease progression; at some point I would no longer be able to do so (either physically or mentally) and it would be too late. Even in the absence of a specific disease, I can foresee a time when I can no longer care for myself or do the things that make existence worthwhile. I’m thinking of David Goodall, the 104-year-old Australian scientist who, while with full control of his cognitive functions, could no longer teach, travel, hike or do any of the things that he loved to do. Because Australian law doesn’t allow for Death with Dignity without a terminal illness (and apparently being 104 years old doesn’t count as a terminal illness), he traveled to Switzerland where he was allowed to take his own life.
That seems eminently sensible to me. And a choice I would insist upon for myself, if and when I reach that point in my life.
But when it comes to others close to me, I find it much more challenging. I would be devastated if Cathy, or my brother or sister were to say to me that they no longer want to keep living because of age or infirmity; I am pretty sure I would try to talk them out of it. I admit that my reasoning would be selfish; I don’t want to think of life without them.
But as I say above, I know for certain that if the situation were reversed I would want the right to make that decision for myself. Frankly, I hope we never have to confront either scenario.
About BigBill
Stats: Married male boomer.
Hobbies: Hiking, woodworking, reading, philosophy, good conversation.
On my own terms
In my last post (on the suicides of Kate Spade, Craig Turner and Anthony Bourdain) I wrote of how tragic it is when someone feels that their life is no longer worth living, or that the world would be a better place without them. Others have called suicide the ultimate selfish act, but I don’t agree; I don’t think it’s self-centeredness that leads someone to that decision. I don’t pretend to know all the variables that do, but I don’t think it’s fair to call it selfishness.
In fact, I can think of situations where the exact opposite emotion drives someone to take their own life. Or at least contributes to it. The whole Death with Dignity movement is predicated upon the decision to end one’s own life on one’s own terms and at a time of one’s own choosing, partly to eliminate strain on a family’s finances or to avoid having a loved one have to care for them on a painful (both physically and emotionally) and inexorable one-way journey.
I confess I have very mixed feelings about this topic.
On one hand, it’s heartbreaking when people decide to leave friends and family (thus depriving them of their company) when faced with their inevitable demise from an illness or infirmity. On the other hand, I can think of few worse fates than knowing that I am going to die after a protracted illness (especially one as frightening as ALS or Alzheimer’s) that would gradually but inevitably incapacitate me, while simultaneously draining whatever financial resources I have. I can unequivocally state that I would want the right to end my life if I find myself in that scenario. And it would probably be necessary to do so fairly early in the disease progression; at some point I would no longer be able to do so (either physically or mentally) and it would be too late. Even in the absence of a specific disease, I can foresee a time when I can no longer care for myself or do the things that make existence worthwhile. I’m thinking of David Goodall, the 104-year-old Australian scientist who, while with full control of his cognitive functions, could no longer teach, travel, hike or do any of the things that he loved to do. Because Australian law doesn’t allow for Death with Dignity without a terminal illness (and apparently being 104 years old doesn’t count as a terminal illness), he traveled to Switzerland where he was allowed to take his own life.
That seems eminently sensible to me. And a choice I would insist upon for myself, if and when I reach that point in my life.
But when it comes to others close to me, I find it much more challenging. I would be devastated if Cathy, or my brother or sister were to say to me that they no longer want to keep living because of age or infirmity; I am pretty sure I would try to talk them out of it. I admit that my reasoning would be selfish; I don’t want to think of life without them.
But as I say above, I know for certain that if the situation were reversed I would want the right to make that decision for myself. Frankly, I hope we never have to confront either scenario.
About BigBill
Stats: Married male boomer. Hobbies: Hiking, woodworking, reading, philosophy, good conversation.